I stumbled upon a copy of a note I sent a friend several years ago and was reminded of the many facets of resistance that appear in a season of growth.

Growth isn’t always a straight path. The detours, the traffic circles, and the beloved “recalculating” can feel like resistance. Sometimes the resistance comes from outside—from people or circumstances. Usually for me, the strongest tug comes from within: old habits, familiar fears, or parts of myself clinging to what feels safe. Although it may be true that familiarity breeds contempt, it also feels comfortable and safe. Is there anything as sticky as wanting change but not wanting anything to change?

Sometimes I’m uncomfortable with the comfortable, bored with the same old, same old—but the unknown… that can be a different kind of uncomfortable. How exciting to have new possibilities. How much better off might I be if I reframed, “I don’t know, it’s scary,” to “How exciting to have new possibilities?”

Maybe this is what growth feels like—a chrysalis. A butterfly has to work its way out on its own. I wonder if that’s how it is for me… breaking free from old thoughts, doubts, fears, or patterns that feel safe. If I can’t push through what surrounds me, will I have the strength to face what’s next?

I am beginning to fear regret more than failure. The regret of not trying, not growing, not moving forward, not discovering. What I call failure is usually just something not turning out the way I envisioned—nothing drastic, just some frustration and disappointment. I’m beginning to see that what I call failure is usually just an unmet expectation. Regret, on the other hand, can feel heavy and unforgiving, often carrying a sense of finality.

At the end of the day, do I want to be comfortable, yet longing for something beyond myself, or a little uncomfortable and energized by what might be? Let it be said of me: she always kept trying and growing.